The past month has been very difficult for me and my family and I wasn’t even sure if I really wanted to write about this since I’m still hurting very much, but I figured that it’s better to let this all out and share it with everyone.
On May 3rd, 11:50 PM, Freya crossed over the Rainbow Bridge.
On the day of her death, she was still her usual perky self. She was still running around the cage, wheeking for food, and chilling in her igloo. Then, at night, in the middle of my video call with my family, she just collapsed all of a sudden. I was so worried when I saw her lying down because I knew it wasn’t the look of an ordinary tired guinea pig, she looked almost flat and looked like she was struggling. Good thing my sister noticed right away that something was wrong, so she was immediately taken to the vet.
When Freya arrived at the vet clinic, she was given oxygen because she was stiff and had a hard time breathing, then the doctor came to examine her. We really couldn’t tell what’s wrong with her because it was all so sudden, she was showing absolutely no symptoms before the attack happened. The doctor said it was a seizure maybe caused by hypoglycemia or existing undiagnosed neurological problems. He couldn’t tell for sure, and he couldn’t conduct a blood test because Freya was too weak to have blood drawn from her. At first, I was still a little calm because she was still conscious and trying to move, but I got worried when the doctor injected some fluids into her and she didn’t even respond. If there’s one thing vets know about Freya, it’s that she’s super fussy. She hates vets so much that she doesn’t even want to be held. She cries at the sight of the vet and bites the doctors when they touch her. But that time, she was too weak to even respond or cry out even though they were giving her injections.
The doctor said that she should be confined so that they could observe her, and she was put inside an oxygen chamber to help her breathe more easily. That was the last time I saw her alive. They called late at night and said Freya passed away 2 hours after she was brought in. The next morning, my family took Freya from the vet and she was buried beside our house, with some flowers and stones to mark her resting place. We thought it was important for Ellie to understand what happened to Freya and why she’s not in the cage anymore, so we let Ellie see her one last time before she was buried.
Freya’s death was very difficult for me to accept because it all happened so fast. Yes, I know that she was approaching her senior years, but I didn’t think she would be gone even before her first birthday as a senior guinea pig. She didn’t show any sign of illness prior to that seizure, she was well-cared for, she got all her regular check-ups. Sometimes I still feel upset that we weren’t able to diagnose any pre-existing neurological conditions despite her regular check-ups, but then again, all these regrets would not change anything because she’s already gone. All I can do is keep her in my heart, remember all the times we shared, and say all the things that I could not tell her because we were far away from each other.
Freya, you and Ellie are the reasons why I’m in a hurry to graduate and finish school, so that I could finally come home to your wheeks and piggy kisses and never have to leave again. It hurts me so much that I couldn’t be there with you during your tough times, and I couldn’t even be there to say goodbye to you. I know that we spent 4 wonderful years together, but I still can’t help but feel that I didn’t play with you enough, didn’t cuddle you enough, didn’t tell you I love you enough. Now, I’m never going to have that opportunity again and I don’t know how I am going to deal with it.
But I am going to say it anyway: I love you Freya, and I want to thank you for being a part of my life. I thank God for bringing us together because having you in my life taught me how to love unconditionally and to think of others’ welfare before my own. I didn’t know about these things until you came along, and thanks to you I became a happier and more loving person.
I miss you so much and I will always miss you. I’m not yet ready to let you go, but I’m just trying to take comfort in the fact that you are no longer suffering. Enjoy playing and eating to your heart’s content at the other side of the bridge, my love, and always remember that I love you so much. You will always have a special place in my heart, my little angel.